The summer season is coming to a close once again. Hobbies and priorities fill the social atmosphere. Plans begin to take shape, whether those plans involve traveling or just staying local. In the midst of all of this, one conflict within the human mind comes into view: weighing options vs settling for less. Such a thing is as old as the existence of thought itself. If we are not careful, however, we could find ourselves blurring the line between the two. However, through the power of self-advocacy, we will reveal the ins and outs of decision making.

Ever since I first began exploring more of the outside world through my program, Self Direction, I have been faced with this conflict at every turn, whether my support staff and I traveled locally or not. There was a point in time when nothing else was happening in regard to my other services like getting a gym membership and taking driving lessons. This all came to a head in August of last year. As I was conducting my usual ten-mile walk at the Patriots Preserve in Shirley, I wondered when I would be able to go to a gym and take driving lessons. It had already been five months. The very thought of this aggravated me to my core. I started writing out emails to the people at the organization I am with. All I wanted was to get answers.

Before I knew it, the pieces began to fall into place. I was finally allowed to explore more of my options. Slowly, I started receiving clues for which direction to look in. I was given an address that I searched for on Google Maps, and it led me to a personal trainer who operates a gym in her trailer. She drives to where her clients live and places them on a workout and diet plan. Even though she could not fit me into her schedule, she was able to direct me to another woman who owns a fitness training business. That is how I was able to acquire a trainer. I just had to acquire a gym membership.

At first, there were voices advising me to go to the Shirley Planet Fitness in my area. However, I did not want to go to that gym. I spoke to my academic coach about this. He suggested that I could go to a YMCA gym in Patchogue. From there, I began looking into it. I traveled with my support staff to the Patchogue YMCA to see if I would be interested in exercising there. The next week, I gave their guest pass a try. The first day I entered the YMCA gym area, I found myself exploring my surroundings. It was actually the first time I ever navigated my way through a gym. I examined every workout station in order to get a sense of it all. Slowly but surely, I did. I started going through a workout routine set up by my academic coach. This time, I knew exactly which workout stations to use. It was like clockwork.

That was until I arrived at the Patchogue YMCA with my trainer. Since the YMCA has their own trainers, my trainer had to sign up for a guest account at the front desk. This meant that after a few days, he would have to pay for a membership. Once he and I entered the gym, I got extremely nervous, mainly because this was the first time I ever went to a gym with a personal trainer. Because of this, I decided to go on a Stairmaster for ten full minutes. I pushed myself way too hard, and I had to be hospitalized. Thankfully, I came out in one piece. What I should have done was make my trainer aware of my anxiety. That way, I could learn more about my own limitations. In addition, it would not have been sustainable for my trainer, either. As a result, I had to cancel the YMCA membership days later.

A few months later, my support staff and I spoke with one another about what my next gym experience would look like. One day, we traveled to the Medford Planet Fitness. I was very reluctant at first, mainly because it is a Planet Fitness gym. As I walked in, I was astonished by how much more space it had. I shook the manager’s hand, and she gave us a tour of the gym. I made it a point to develop a relationship with the manager. This way, when something does happen, the manager will be more receptive, and it will increase the quality of my advocacy. Upon leaving, I made the informed decision that this is the gym I wanted to go to, whether by myself or with my trainer. In order for my trainer to go there with me, I had to enroll for a Black Card membership. Unlike the YMCA, my personal trainer was and still is able to work with me as a guest without being required to pay for a membership.

Eventually, and unfortunately, I had to make the hard decision to settle for the Planet Fitness gym in Shirley. Two days into my attendance there, I began to encounter issues. When I called the front desk and asked for the manager, the woman informed me that the manager was off that day. Since this gym has only one manager, I had to wait for five days before I got in touch with him. When I spoke to the manager, he listened to my concerns and resolved the matter to my surprise. He was even aware of a review I submitted for the gym. He also said that I could speak with him further if any other issues arise. Like at the Medford Planet Fitness, the manager knows who I am.

As for my driving lessons, I finally received a call from my driving instructor at Fitzgerald’s Driving School. We discussed how we would go about my driving lessons. When I officially began these driving lessons, my driving instructor and I became acclimated with one another and worked on areas that needed improvement. Despite the shortcomings of the invoice process, I was able to lessen the severity by checking in with the driving school and my agency. Both my mother and I made sure that the driving school received their payments. Otherwise, I would have lost their service. That is why one must remain vigilant and stay on top of matters. This serves as another form of self-advocacy.

Overall, self-advocacy is a form of defense, not a luxury. Things did not turn out exactly the way I wanted. But that should not stop anyone from speaking up for themselves and thriving.

Procrastination is never an option when it comes to self-advocacy. In order for us to live rather than simply survive, we need to make our desires and our boundaries known. Both of these are what make a self-directed life a reality. It is what makes my journey toward independence possible.